But today has been more than enough proof to showcase my ignorance and uncertainty. If there was to be a synonym to intelligence, I won't be on par with it today. Where did I go? Most importantly, where do I go from here?
I tried to take a step back and look at the bigger picture but the closest thing that I would get is the phrase "Now I know who to avoid..." going over and over in my head like some faulty radio. Would have listened to Rachael Yamagata but none of her songs are in resonance with my current predicament. Regina Spektor? She's too optimistic for me right now. Fiona Apple? I am depressed...not suicidal.
I miss what I had before, but it is rather funny that when I look back...all I can see is just a road that has spiralled out of control. So, where do I go from here? I have gone off too far to tread on past mistakes that I am not too proud of but yet addicted to like a drug.
I am writing this only to deviate myself from what that I thought have been true...but one of my favourite mistakes is to float on instead of walk on. I wish I had something smart to say...but I'm just at lost for words. I wish I have more lyrical prose to write but it should be in order that I give in to facts and figures. I wish I had something useful to do...but if there is no purpose to the doings of an activity...then why it's conception in the first place?
These questions are meant to be redundant. That said...they are there for you to see, but not for you to answer. For in life, that is often what that one needs once in a while...a question unanswered.
I am beginning to regret my actions of introducing you to this whole ordeal...but another one of my favourite mistake is offering people my warmth and in the end leave them in the cold when winter advances.
I am a tidal of emotions within. Just be prepared to be calm for the advance of my temperamental storm...for I am of who I wholly am...and only partially of who you think I am.
"I'm a million contradictionsSometimes I make no senseSometimes I'm perfectSometimes I'm a messSometimes I'm not sure who I am"